The Role of Spouses in Making Decisions

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Thursday, July 01 2010

"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice" (Proverbs 12:15).

"It's amazing how similar at times the voice of my wife is to the voice of the Holy Spirit," I said to the Christian audience.

When John Benson decided to make some financial investments in a new business venture, he was very excited about the possibilities for a handsome financial return. His business and financial background had served him well. John felt strongly that his wife Jenny would not understand the complexity of his investment, so he casually mentioned it to her. When she asked a few simple questions, John became defensive and justified his plans for investing in the venture.

A year later, after investing a large sum of money, John received a phone call from the investment company. All the investors who had put money in the company were going to lose their investment with no ability to recoup it.

This story could be retold repeatedly across the world. God's principles for making decisions require input from both spouses, regardless of their level of expertise. I learned this lesson the hard way after making many independent decisions outside the counsel of my wife. Today, whenever I am faced with a major decision, I first consult the Lord, and then I consult my wife. She may disagree totally with something that seems very straightforward to me, but I have learned not to move forward if we are not in agreement.

She does not need to know all the details, nor does she have to have expertise. God has placed in her a "chip" called "intuition." That intuition cannot explain why she feels the way she does, she just knows when something is not right. Conversely, husbands bring a totally different perspective that may give an alternative side to a situation that the wife has never considered. God has called married couples to be one. If we seek to make decisions independently, then we benefit from only 50% of the intended resource God has placed within our grasp. In marriage, this stewardship of decisions requires two people. God blesses this union by honoring the decisions made with the motive of glorifying God and relying on His Spirit to lead in our decision-making process.

Before you make a major decision, get confirmation for your decision from your spouse.
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Hearing God

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, June 30 2010

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me" (John 10:27).

I have discovered a pattern in the way God speaks to me when I'm faced with major decisions. I will spend a great deal of time seeking direction from Him and asking Him to speak to me regarding a decision. I spend time in prayer and Bible study. Many times I have suddenly had a rush over me with an overwhelming feeling of His presence. The feeling is usually so intense I will begin to cry, sometimes uncontrollably. (Thank God this doesn't happen too often, because it is rather embarrassing in a public setting.)

I recall one time when I was praying about whether I should make a commitment to work for a ministry that would involve at least a one-year commitment. It seemed like the right thing, but I was still awaiting confirmation. One morning during my quiet time, the situation I just described came over me. Angie walked into the room to find me crying. (She always laughs when this happens and says there's nothing like seeing a grown man cry.) I told her God was telling me to enter into a working relationship with this ministry. It was a great release in my spirit and confirmation of what I was to do. Two years later, I was able to look back and see that God had led that decision which resulted in much fruit.

One night as the famous Bible teacher F. B. Meyer stood on the deck of a ship approaching land, he wondered how the crew knew when and how to safely steer to the dock. It was a stormy night, and visibility was low. Meyer, standing on the bridge and peering through the window, asked "Captain, how do you know when to turn this ship into that narrow harbor?"

"That's an art," replied the captain. "Do you see those three red lights on the shore? When they're all in a straight line I go right in!"

Later Meyer said: "When we want to know God's will, there are three things which always occur: the inward impulse, the Word of God, and the trend of circumstances. Never act until these three things agree."

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